The last few days of the year.....

I have a hard time with the New Year. It's hard to explain just why it bothers me, but it does. Every year at this time, I reflect on the passing year. This year, that reflection is a little tough. The year has been a very challenging one. If you aren't sure what I mean by that, see this post or this one. It's not the challenges of the year that make this time difficult, though.

And the difficulty has nothing to do with resolutions. As a rule, I don't make resolutions. My personal philosophy on resolutions is that if it's worth resolving to do something, I should begin doing it right away.

No, this holiday is just one that gets me stepping back to look at the big picture of my life. I think it's that simple process that bothers me. Another year has passed, and my vision of where I thought I'd be by this age and the reality of where I actually am still don't line up any better than they did last year. When I don't focus on that, I'm pretty content with my life. I have a great job, a wonderful family, and good friends. I serve a loving God who knows my future, and He has better plans for my future than I can even imagine. My life is not my own, and remembering that keeps me content. So, if it's alright with you all, (actually, even if it's not) I'm going to go through the next couple of days as if no transition is happening. When I focus on the transition, my selfish mind goes to a really bad place. I prefer to take this walk of life one step at a time. For those of you who celebrate, I'd like to wish you a "Happy New Year." As for me, I'm going to think of it as another ordinary day, and I'm going to try really hard to remember to write the correct year on my checks.

--That just reminded me.....I don't write checks very often, and I always have to think twice before writing the date. The other day, I was writing a check, and I realized I had written '98 as the year on the date line. I don't know where my head was on that one. Oh well....it did give everyone a good chuckle at my expense.